Mel:Norm

Valentine’s Day Rewind: 2008

When you’re single, you tend to tell yourself and anyone that will listen that Valentine’s Day is the most hated day. That it’s stupid. That it doesn’t deserve to be celebrated. This, ironically, is especially true for those of us who are hopeless romantics. Which I just so happen to be.

And this is exactly what I had been doing. Valentine’s Day was pointless, I had told him days earlier. Having dated briefly the previous year and just recently starting to spend time together again, it was my way of telling him that it was stupid if you didn’t have someone to spend it with. Someone who wanted to spend it with you. On top of all this, I was really sick.

The night before Valentine’s day, in my worn-in grey Cal Poly sweatpants and head covered by the hood of my black Cal Poly hoodie, I sat curled up on the couch with a box of Kleenex and the remote in hand. My doorbell rang and, not expecting anyone, was surprised to see Carlton on the other side of the peephole. I let him in and he followed my huddled, blanket covered figure back to the couch.

I know how much you hate Valentine’s Day. So I figured I would come today, since it’s technically not Valentine’s Day until tomorrow.

He held out his hands. In one, a rose. One of my favorites where the colors are almost that of a sunset, fading from yellow to gold to pink. In the other hand, a large can of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup. 

I had told him I hated Valentine’s Day, when in fact I just didn’t want to feel the loneliness every single girl associates with the day. In reality, I love Valentine’s Day and any day that celebrates love. But I have to admit, at that moment, I loved February 13th so much more.

Looking Back on 2011

I did this survey for the first time last year (http://creatingthenorm.tumblr.com/post/2620370538/looking-back-on-2010) and I wanted to continue this “tradition” onto this year.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Graduated from USC. Earned a Master’s degree and PPS credential. Worked in a middle school. Volunteered at Santa Teresa. Got Carlton to go to Disneyland…TWICE. Applied for Big Kid jobs. Held my friend’s beautiful babies. Went to Vegas. Attended a Bachelor party. Went to weddings of two friends and a cousin. Drag queen BINGO. Attended an awards show (NAACP Image Awards). Spent a holiday with Carlton’s family—Thanksgiving. Got to sit in the audience for Ellen. Ran in a race—Merrill Down and Dirty Mud Run. Saw the Dalai Lama speak. Got to go to Disneyland for ride premieres and AP holder events. Disney Crazy dates. Got Becca wasted for her 21st birthday. Went to a midnight premiere of a movie—HP7:2. Baby showers. LACMA. Saw Tiger Woods golf in person. Moved home. Donated my hair. Owned a smart phone— iPhone.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Fortunately, I didn’t make any resolutions last year so I didn’t break any. I did, however, make some goals. 1.)Write at least once a week: I believe I averaged to once a week or more but I didn’t necessarily write every week. 2.) Read at least 2 novels a month: Again, I’m pretty sure I met this goal as I know I averaged more than 2 a month. Though I have noticed I haven’t read as much since I moved home since I watch too much TV… need to work on that. 3.) Work out at least 3 days a week, at least though May: While there were a few weeks I missed the mark, for the most part I made it to graduation. However, once the bet ended, I failed miserably. I have recently started running again. 4.) Teach myself to play guitar: Fail. 5.) Get into teaching credential program: Didn’t even apply. 6.) Get a job: Fail.

So again for this year I won’t make “resolutions” but instead make lofty goals:
~Write at least once a week
~Read at least two novels a month
~Work out at least two times a week
~Complete my half-marathon in January and at least one more race
~Get a job
~Write a novel—at least 50,000 words

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
YES!!! To the two most BEAUTIFUL babies in the world! Erika gave birth to Iris Alessandra in February. She’s gorgeous and so is Erika’s strength to raise this amazing baby on her own. And the second most amazing baby is Ludo Michael Schlotter, Julia and Mike’s son. I was the first non-family member to hold him at the hospital. Even with my frustrations of still being unemployed and at home, I am so blessed to be able to see this wondrous boy grow up before my eyes, and take on the role of Auntie Melissa.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thank God my answer is no. I feel I’m still reeling from 2 years ago so I’m hoping it will be a long while until I have to face it again. However, one of Carlton’s aunts died this fall in October at the age of 52 of breast cancer.

5. What countries did you visit?
None: Boo. The farthest I went was Spokane, WA and Vegas. May 2012 involve more travel time.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
A full time job. An apartment with more than one room and a couch. An ability to make loan payments. A cheaper way of seeing Carlton more often. An enthusiasm to exercise and the means to do it.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
1/1/11: Disney date with Carlton, Scott, and Kylee
2/28/11: Iris was born
3/5/11: Got my first ever smart phone
3/13/11: Drag Queen BINGO birthday party at Hamburger Mary’s
4/17/11: Down and Dirty Mud Run
5/3/11: Dalai Lama on campus
5/13/11: Graduated from USC
5/15/11: Family date to Disneyland
6/29/11: 1st ever Big Kid job interview for LBHS (unfortunately, didn’t get it)
7/2/11: Move home
7/15/11: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows midnight show!
8/6/11: Ludo was born
8/13/11: Chris and Brooke got married
9/10/11: Dewey and Kelsey got married
10/21/11: Donated my hair to Beautiful Lengths
10/31/11: Ellen show! Sat in the front row with Mom and saw Bieber
11/24/11: 1st Holiday/Thanksgiving with the Gillespie’s
12/25/11: Made Polar Express a drinking game while Grandpa read the book :-)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
The obvious answer would be getting my Masters. The not so obvious, yet bigger, achievement is not losing my drive, focus, or confidence completely after moving home and still being unemployed after 7 months. It is a heart wrenching, confidence shattering, disempowering situation and I am attempting to get through it with as much grace and poise, and as little tears, as possible. However, I am hoping it will come to an end soon.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I did not get a job. I was over confident and assumed I would get one easily. As such, I did not spend as much time and energy on certain friendships that I feel I should have. I did not try hard enough or soon enough to secure a job I wanted. My biggest failure was arrogance.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Stress. Grad school exhaustion. Loneliness. And, of course, my back and knee decided it would be awesome to start hurting again as they used to. Oh joy.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Renewed my Disney pass in November. My Barnes and Noble membership. My USC sweatpants and alumni sweatshirt.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Unquestionably, my parents deserve the most celebration. Their understanding and patience with my being at home while I suffer through the process of finding employment has been nothing but idyllic. They are encouraging and supportive and allow me to feel and vocalize my feelings about the process. I love them so much more than they know.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I had my moments with certain members of my cohort, certain friendships, and a certain unnamed boyfriend from time to time but nothing so important it’s worth remembering.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Gas. Trips to LA. Books. Presents. Food.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Graduation. Ludo. Weddings. Job interviews. Iris. Disney Crazy dates. Macaroni and cheese at Carlton’s at Thanksgiving. Pumpkin cheesecake. LA visits.

16. What song will always remind of you 2010?
Someone Like You, by Adele. It was on her 2nd CD, 21, that came out this year. Immediately I fell in love wit her voice and her story. This song has always been my favorite on the album, even now that it is a single and everyone else has claimed it as their own. I feel this song. I can relate to this song. I can emote to this song. I love it.

17. Compared to this time last year, are:

a)happier or sadder?
b)thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?
Sadder (but more grateful), fatter, poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Same as last year: “Cook. Exercise. Write. Read books. Hang out with friends. Explore LA. Sleep. Spend time outside. Go to the beach.” Also, ook for and apply for jobs, appreciate my time off, be more open to new experiences, express my appreciation, live in the moment.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Complain. Cry. Overanalyze myself and my relationships. Be judgmental. Watch TV. Be upset about long distance and Carlton’s job. Be jealous of others, especially my friends.

20. Did you fall in love in 2010?
No. Just continued to experience it and all the changes that comes with time. Life makes love look hard.

21. What was your favorite TV program?
Grey’s Anatomy. How I Met Your Mother. Once Upon a Time. NCIS. Rizzoli & Isles. Bones. Pretty Little Liars. Criminal Minds.

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope. Maybe the Kardasians lol.

23. What was the best book you read?
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. The Happiness Project by Gretchen Ruben. Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert. And many, many more.

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Adele. Hands down, no question.

25. What did you want and get?
My Disney pass. A USC diploma. Minnie Mouse ears and costume.

26. What did you want and not get?
A job—any but preferably one I love. A new apartment I can decorate. A Kitchen Aid mixer. A puppy.

27. What was your favorite film of this year?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2.

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 24 this year. On the 12th, I had a Disney Crazy date at Disneyland complete with rides, shows, and snacks. Sunday the 13th was my celebration with all my friends at Hamburger Mary’s in West Hollywood for Drag Queen BINGO. I had a great time with the games, our awesome waiter, OMG drinks, condoms in the bathroom, and flaming Twinkies. I drove home on my actual birthday to begin spring break. Mom and I had dinner and margaritas at Chile’s to celebrate.

29. How you would describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Even though Carlton called me unfashionable, I had my moments (grad prom, SCoT banquet, prom, Vegas, and weddings). Otherwise, jeans, T’s, and sweats and sweaters.

30. What kept you sane?
Grey’s DVDs. My parents. Becca visits. Carlton. Disney Crazy dates. The Boys. Counselors I worked with. Not having to pay rent with no job.

31. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Shamar Moore. Ugh, gorgeous.

32. Who did you miss?
Carlton. Family. Correy. LA friends after I moved and home friends before. My students.

33. Who was the best new person you met?
LUDO! And Iris. And although I obviously knew her before this year, I got to become friends with Erika and she is wonderful.

34. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Not everything you want is given to you, even if you think you deserve it. You have to work for it.

35. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Pretty pretty please, don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less than f***ing perfect. (Pink)